Get all 8 Avery Indigo releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Crisis Last Night, Lay Where I Lay (Single), PARAGON: THE GIRL WITH SHATTERED EYES, Kill Yourself (Single), Emo Heart (Single), ::: SINK OR SWIM, Sorry For Being Sorry, and Dark Blue.
1. |
Love and Anarchy
03:47
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Am I vessel in shedding skin
Or a man who can’t stand his own reflection
The longer I live the further I move away from the mirrors
That remind me of who I’ll never be
My eyes are heavy
And your heart burns
I’d like a diagnosis or disease
To confirm it’s not all in my head
If i could bury your pain and fears
I’d give it all so you could breathe again
I’d give it all so you could breathe again
The doors never stay open for long
So I felt lucky when I met (met you)
Was happy that I kept you
We met in the dark in between a broken car, in between deep scars
And why should we care about happy endings
When we met in the dark
But no one cared about me
So thank God, that I met you
Lost my faith
Lost my friends
Lost my reason to breathe again
An Anarchist without sustenance
A life of shame without penitence
No one’s holding my hand
The door’s closed again
The lights went out where we begin
I have dreams where I have died and I feel terrified
But I’m not scared to die
I’m scared to wake up
I’m scared to wake up
I’m scared to wake up
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2. |
Chasing Pavements
04:44
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Expect to be alone
‘Cause no one’s ever home
I take my pills to numb
The thoughts I had for so long
So what's my purpose
Tracing the same circles
‘Cause I’m invisible
Chasing my own shadows
Chasing pavements (on the move)
Chasing pavements (on the move)
The demons in heaven
And angels in hell-
There’s demons in heaven
And angels in hell
So tell me why I’m supposed to be a perfect Machine
I say my prayers and wait in line
Searching for innocence from a simpler time, a simpler time
The flames dance in the dark- my head is cold like ocean waves
I see your smile when you cry
Said can we go somewhere different (different)
‘Cause I’m invisible
Chasing my own shadows
Chasing pavements (on the move)
Chasing pavements (on the move)
The demons in heaven
And angels in hell-
The world’s a beautiful place when you belong but what do we do if we don’t-
Should we bury our heads in the sand to make others feel safe or pack our bags and take a chance
I never asked for this
I do not consent
I do not consent
I never asked for this
I do not consent
I do not consent
I do not consent
‘Cause I’m invisible
Chasing my own shadows
Chasing pavements (on the move)
Chasing pavements (on the move)
Scared to ride the wave
Scared to throw the past away
Chasing Pavements
Chasing Pavements
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3. |
Best Worst Place
04:13
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What the fuck
What the fuck can I say to you
When the world's coming down on me
I've got nothing left to lose, that I haven't burned in my heartbreak
In my heartbreak
(What the fuck, what the fuck)
I want to get out of my own head
Show me the man who lives upon the hill
Show me the man who doesn't kill his friends
The earth bleeds like we bleed but she doesn't need us here-
And I hope she goes nova
‘Cause I don’t believe in hope or stable things
‘Cause no one looked out for-
Can we say that anyone cared
‘Cause I was falling off of mountains
Into the ocean
Into the ocean
It was so cold and dark
But no one came to save me
So here I am
Giving all my faith to man in the sky who left me to die
And hope didn’t change the world
We did
We did
And this is the worst place we could ever think of
What the fuck
What the fuck can I say to you
When the world's coming down on me
I've got nothing left to lose, that I haven't burned in my heartbreak
In my heartbreak
‘Cause I don’t believe in hope or stable things
‘Cause no one looked out for-
Can we say that anyone cared
‘Cause I was falling off of mountains
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4. |
Kill Yourself
03:49
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Kill Yourself
You talk about the world like it’s somewhere new, like you know all the scriptures and what to do
Talk to me like you’re the saint of something sacred
Well I won’t miss you
Well I won’t miss you
Entitled prick with no resolve I wish you’d die
You’re lower than waste
Your birth was a mistake
You have no spine
I wish I knew the truth of you, before I trusted you
I’ll never make it to heaven, so I’ll take my chances
I was born a sinner, so I’ll die in the grave I was born into
You say you’re sick with a disease well burn yourself and set me free
I hate your complaints and your “woe is me”
Betrayed your friends for a change of pace
It’s convenient if you just kill yourself
If I don’t agree with what you said
I’m a bad person, “It’s in your head”
Cry me tears and leave me unread
And you’re the worst person I’ve ever met
You’re the worst person that I’ve ever met
(That I’ve Met)
Here we are
Chasing stars
We tried to trust you but you let us down again
You never cared at all
But here we are trying to breathe
And who were you
And who was I supposed to be
And who was I, but a hollow machine for you
But a hollow machine for you
I’ll never make it to heaven, so I’ll take my chances
I was born a sinner, so I’ll die in the grave I was born into
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5. |
Emo Heart
03:33
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Everybody wants to tell me how to live my life
But whose the one that wakes up in my skin
I'm a stranger (but I'm a stranger)
Yeah, we're oceans apart
But I can feel you deep inside my bones
And how I love you
Well you're terrified and I'm scared to death of your hesitation-
But can I see your scars
Yeah there's blood on your lips and there's dried blood in my heart
And we started a fire but is this the end or just the start
Broken hearts never meant to be here
But sometimes goodbye is a second chance
We're fighting the mirrors but good god I wanna jump
Yeah, we're oceans apart
But can I feel you deep inside my bones
And how I love you
Everyday, here we are
Praying for the pain to subside
I need a god
Where is your god
Where is our god
Yeah, we're oceans apart
But I can feel you deep inside my bones
And how I love you
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6. |
::: Sink or Swim
02:57
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Denial and delusion is where we lay our heads
Praying to our gods for our second chances
Believing in karma- but you're rich and I'm poor
But you're rich and I'm poor
'Cause everybody wants to live forever
And we'll kill to stay alive
No love for another
I'll kill my friends and kill my brothers
It's time to sink or swim before this life kills me
Before it kills me
My memory is clouded
I'm stuck in all this pain
I'd love to die again
I haven't found it
I haven't found it
I put a bullet into my head
I wanted escape but I am death
I hate knowing you
It's sad but true- but we are two hopeless souls searching for a better view
Cause everybody wants to live forever
And we'll kill to stay alive
No love for another
I'll kill my friends and kill my brothers
It's time to sink or swim before this life kills me
Before it kills me
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7. |
||||
There's a girl who lives in the hallway
You think she's a visitor but she has no choice
You tied her up with the rope you brought
But the joke's on you
She's never going to leave
You better run
She's not afraid
She's seen worse days
Walked alone in the dark and owns the night
You better run
She's not afraid
She'll get revenge another day
She fell in the sea and all the pain inside her head created a hurricane
With shattered eyes she lived in silence and shame
There's a sadness in her bones
And my eyes- shatter like the ocean
There's a hope inside the sunset that I don't rely on
I don't trust it
I've seen the way the stars fall down
(Fall over me)
The earthquake shakes the ground
The pain inside my head is going nowhere
Her eyes are shattered like the earth
While God ignored her prayers-
And I know God is a man because he never listens
He rather hate than love us
Taught me to be patient but the cuts under my skin never heal
Her apparition still lives in the walls
So where do we go from here
You better run
She's not afraid
She's seen worse days
Walked alone in the dark and owns the night
You better run
She's not afraid
She'll get revenge another day
She fell in the sea and all the pain inside her head created a hurricane
With shattered eyes she lived in silence and shame
Where is God-
If he's in the Earth, stop the sea from swallowing me
If he's in the sky- take me home
'Cause Shattered eyes are hard to hold together
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8. |
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I complain but can you blame me
I was born a negative creep
I was shallow and tearing my teeth
Broken bones, no safety for me
Watch the shore fall into the sea
Broken eyes are clarity
Tears so deep they cut inside me
Fall away, eternity
Playing with matches
Reactive
They burn so clearly
Reactive
Iridescent
To leave me, alone
Dissociate like the pain in me
Wanna be a person not a dream
Feels so real
Feels so fake
Dissociate like the pain in me
Wanna be a person not a dream
(Dream)
Can we fall asleep tonight
I’m paralyzed in the dark running from the eyes of God
Eyes so judgemental
Split personalities, Neurotic enemies
Phase in, phase out
I can’t breathe
Phase in, fade out
I can’t breathe
Someone tell me what I’ve done
I was so innocent and young
With an arm around my neck
No one cared
Someone tell me what I’ve done
I was so innocent and young
Hung by my betrayal
Cause I feel blue
And I feel shame
Wish my head would work
And all this pain would fall away, fall away
(Fall away)
I feel shame and I am blue
What about the future of you
I don’t know if I’ll be home
Playing with matches
Reactive
The catalyst
Matches
Reactive
Iridescent
Dream
Dissociate like the pain in me
Wanna be a person not a dream
Feels so real
Feels so fake
Dissociate like the pain in me
Wanna be a person not a dream
(Dream)
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9. |
The Curse
03:36
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Castles made of water, cannot stand for long
People born into graves cannot belong
Empty hands can't be filled up
A stagnant heart will stay stuck
And what can I say come tomorrow morning
Because I was born dead
And will you be here when I wake up
Cause I know I'm so hard to rely on
Yes I'm burning like a fire
But I am a mess
And this is the curse of existence
We're beaten so fucking bad that we wanna die
I was born with broken bones
In a coffin made out of the mistakes of the creator
I am a bastard son
I am the only one
Castles made of water, cannot stand for long
People born into graves- live in darkness alone
Yes it's nice to meet you even though you don't know my name
Yes it's nice to greet you even though I feel so old
Yes I'm burning like a fire
But I am a mess
This is the curse of existence
We're beaten so fucking bad that we wanna die
Think I rather die here
Then die on my own
I was cursed the day I was born
Don't you know I'm tired of this ending
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10. |
Painless
02:59
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I started out at the bottom, chasing my fears alone
Searching for a new shore, to call my home
But I die to feel alive
Cause it cuts, and it bleeds, and it runs so deep in me
And it cuts, and it burns, and it bleeds and it burns- a fire in me
Let me Run
(Scared of my Demons)
Run
(Mirrors committed treason)
Run
(Am I going up or down)
Run
(Scared of leaving this all behind)
Run
(Scared of my reasons to leave this all behind)
Let me run
(Turn the lights out and darken up my eyes)
Talk to myself
Talk to myself
Refuse the help
Refuse the help
Swear your fine
Swear your fine
Love you mom, Love you dad
Love you mom, Love you dad
Can’t be happy, always sad
Can’t be happy, always sad
A black heart never cried so hard
Tracing shapes inside your dark
You sleep with eyes wide open
In love with hell
I know that no one is looking down on me
Cause I don’t feel a holy spirit in heaven-
Have you seen my pain
Cause it cuts, and it bleeds, and it runs so deep in me
And it cuts, and it burns, and it bleeds and it burns- a fire in me
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11. |
Standing on My Own Grave
03:52
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If I could stand up straight
I think I’d leave this place
Think I’d leave this place
‘Cause I’m some damn tired of waking up at midnight
Just to see my own reflection
And I swear I’m gone
Yeah, we’re waking up at midnight
Just to taste the color of your eyes
And I feel so alone
Yeah, we’re waking up at midnight
Even though you’re so far apart
I know you’re together
If I could sink in the ocean I’d take that chance, today
If I could find a place to play again, I’d fade away
I don’t care about anyone or anything now that I’m so broken
Do you think I should give a damn about this
My life is empty and frail and so are my friends
I’m in the dark
Talking to the ghost inside of my head
How long can I waste away in this coffin
Yeah, we fall down but we get back up
And we ask ourselves, what’s it for
I’m standing on my grave
Trying to find my place
Trying to find my peace
In a world I don’t- wanna be here
Just wanna escape
If I could sink in the ocean I’d take that chance, today
If I could find a place to play again, I’d fade away
I don’t care about anyone or anything now that I’m so broken
Do you think I should give a damn about this
My life is empty and frail and so are my friends
I bleed in dark blue with a blade too dull to wake me up
So I wait in line for my time to die
This is escape from a tragic life
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12. |
Scared to Be Happy
02:52
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You don't know anything about me
But I know I'm scared to be happy
They took everything that I had
Capitalism was my favorite deadbeat dad
Let the walls come down on me
I'm a faulty selfish machine
The knife they left in my back didn't kill me
You better run because I think I’m happy
You can tell I'm suicidal
You can tell I'm a mess
I love to feel psychotic
Say hello to psychosis
I think I'm having a breakdown
No, no, noooo
I'm having a breakdown
I guess it's time to go to sleep
But I'm always wide awake
Don't you know sleep is for the weak
So don't say that you're happy
Don't say that I'm your friend
Yes, I'm a bastard orphan
But I'm not afraid to die again
Let the walls come down on me
I'm a faulty selfish machine
The knife they left in my back didn't kill me
You better run because I think I’m happy
Let the walls come down on me
I'm a faulty selfish machine
The knife they left in my back didn't kill me
You better run because I think I’m happy
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13. |
Enigma in Exile
03:25
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Every revolution started in one man’s mind
Can we stop and stare at everyone outside of mind
I’m trying to be a little one
A better change but I’m so miserable
Said goodnight
Said goodbye
See everyone fall to suicide
Everybody wants to tear me down
Everybody to tear me down
Enigma with no body to be found
A black rose for a heart growing from the ground-
From the ground
Everybody wants to live forever
Everybody wants to live forever
But do you wanna try
But do you wanna try
But do you wanna try
Said goodnight
Said goodbye
See everyone fall to suicide
Said goodnight
Said goodbye
See everyone fall to suicide
Are you surprised at what you see
There’s no one looking for salvation here
So let’s kill ourselves
Kill ourselves
Contradictions never lie but this is I
(I)
Take your time with me and find
(Find)
I wanna be somebody so bad
(Bad)
Do you know anybody coming around
Said goodnight
Said goodbye
See everyone fall to suicide
Said goodnight
Said goodbye
See everyone fall to suicide
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14. |
Sulk
03:32
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I wanna sulk in the sun and play with a gun
Kill all the love-
I wanna run just for the fun
My body aches and I'm in so much pain
And I feel so ugly
AndI feel so small
'Cause I don't want to see you
Fall through the cracks in all our dreams
In all our dreams
So please don't lose your flame
Cause you're taller than the mountains that keep you down
The smallest waves shape the earth
So don't lose your flame
Everybody wants to be a better version of me
Everybody wants to be a better version of me
Say I'm the only one living in catatonia
Say I'm the bastard son who needs medicine
Cause I don't want to see you
Fall through the cracks in all our dreams
In all our dreams
So please don't lose your flame
Cause you're taller than the mountains that keep you down
The smallest waves shape the earth
So don't lose your flame
Baby I'm staring at the sun
Baby cutting is my fun
Baby I'm staring at the sun
Baby I'm playing with a gun
Cause I am so tired of talking to the mirrors on the walls
My reflection stings
I- cause I am so tired of sulking in the shadows talking to the mirrors that don't wanna see my face
Cause I am so tired of looking at myself
Looking at my shadows fading into nothing
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15. |
Weakness
02:52
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We talk about a fucked up person
But darling it takes two broken people to hold things together
We talk about a betrayal and how I let you down
I’m sorry I couldn’t make you whole
But I was trying to keep the gun from my head
The lights out
We wasted
The best years of our lives
We’re feeling so cold
I guess we weren’t meant to last
If this is love, I don’t want it
If this is love, I don’t need it
If this is love, I don’t want it
If this is love, I don’t need it
I’m so weak and miserable
A cliche about a broken light bulb that never lights the room-
You’re right
Im kinda pathetic
You’re wrong
I never meant to hurt you
I can’t prove myself to you
Because you’re not listening
I don’t expect mountains to move
But can someone please give me a chance
The lights out
We wasted
The best years of our lives
We’re feeling so cold
I guess we weren’t meant to last
If this is love, I don’t want it
If this is love, I don’t need it
If this is love, I don’t want it
If this is love, I don’t need it
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16. |
Lay Where I Lay
03:35
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‘Cause I don’t wanna say goodnight
Chasing father time
A hollow husk of a man
I’m in love but what’s our plan
I’m in love but what’s our plan
My head is broken
My eyes are frozen
The pain is deep inside my lungs
(Lungs)
I lay where I lay
Sleep where I pray
Think where I break
Seal the coffins
I lay where I lay
Sleep where I pray
Think where I break
Seal the coffin
Never said I was a saint
So stop trying to say that I’m your parasite
(Parasite)
(Parasite)
(Parasite)
‘Cause I don’t wanna say goodnight
Chasing father time
A hollow husk of a man
I’m in love but what’s our plan
I’m in love but what’s our plan
I lay where I lay
Sleep where I pray
Think where I break
Seal the coffins
I lay where I lay
Sleep where I pray
Think where I break
Seal the coffin
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17. |
Candle Light
03:50
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As I sit
As I breathe on my own
I wanna scream at the sky and let my pain scare the angels in heaven
Make them light my way, the way they should've done, the day that I was born
Make them build a place, a place for me to lay
A place I can light my candle
And I can't sleep
Tasting regret on my tongue
The bitterness lives in me
Feeling like a broken machine
Without a remedy
Searching far and wide for a cure that heals my heart
And do you feel it too
'Cause I am crying out for you
But I don't know who you are
But can you love me like I am your only reason to live
I wanna breathe you in like my oxygen
To sleep
To dream
To think
To feel
To float away
Be my light, in my dark
My candle light
That lights my dark-
I swear to the stars that I wanna bleed all over the floor
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18. |
In the Deep
03:39
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Well it’s winter, in my head
And I can’t take the darkness in me
In me
In me
There’s a cold that breaks my bones
And there’s a soul that’s dead
That’s dead
When I said goodnight
I meant I’m going home
Drowning in a storm for far too long
Who was I
So don’t hate me when I’m gone
Cause I can’t stay here while I’m in the dark
So please forgive me and let me rest in peace, in the deep
Cause I want to be, whole again
Cause I want to be, whole again
Cause I want to be, whole again
Cause I want to be, whole again
Well I’m frozen in my pain
And I can’t shake the coldness in my bed
Cause I need you now
Cause I wanna be safe but I don’t know how
When I said goodnight
I meant I’m going home
Drowning in a storm for far too long
Who was I
So don’t hate me when I’m gone
Cause I can’t stay here while I’m in the dark
So please forgive me and let me rest in peace, in the deep
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19. |
Paragon (Album Version)
04:48
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I, Pray
Stop and sink with me
I, pray
Stop and stare at me
‘Cause I don’t wanna be a hollow machine
(Machine)
‘Cause I don’t wanna die between all my dreams- here
(Here)
‘Cause I’m trying to find the my way back into the color but the dark is so familiar
It’s so hard to believe that anybody cares about me- about me
(Me)
Cause I can’t believe, that life could be so empty for me
And I can’t believe, that life could be so cruel to you and me
I, pray
Stop, and bury me
I, pray
Stop, and smother me
Wilt away, like our yesterday
Escape the mirrors of self hate
‘Cause I’ve been waiting forever, waiting for a moment to change
‘Cause I’ve been waiting forever, waiting to feel alive
Scared to want more
Scared to run away
Scared to hold you close
Scared to let it consume-me
(Me)
‘Cause I want more out of this
‘Cause I need some pain and relief
‘Cause I want more out of this
‘Cause I need some peace and some sleep
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20. |
Porcelain Dream
04:56
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Lie together in eternity
Finally feel the calm of the sea
Talking about places we want to go and places we never wanna be
A porcelain dream
A porcelain dream-
The glass on the ceiling never stays in place
As two eyes roam the dark in secret embrace
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
For you
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
For you
So lie with me and fall asleep
So lie with me and fall asleep
And taste all of my dreams
Lie together with our broken hearts
Watching the flames in our eyes dance like sparks
I don't know where you've been but I feel what you feel
But can we leave it all behind and fade away
You make everything make sense
Even though I don't believe in God
The pain that we know- It's better to show some faith
But I can't breathe here
Why were we born
Where do we stay
How does safety light the way
Why were you born
Where do you stay
Where do you bury your head
Where do you pray
How can I breathe
How can I breathe
Without you here
Why were we born
Where do we stay
How does safety light the way
Wrap your hands so tight that I can't breathe
Dive in the deep with me for some relief
Submerge with me
Porcelain dream
Submerge with me
Porcelain dream
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
For you
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
And I feel so much
For you
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21. |
Why Am I Still Here
04:24
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Fuck- why am I here?
Why am I still here?
I watch the days go by
But does anyone see my shame
I know I'm up late every night, staring at the sky
But I'm wishing I was gone
Seconds seem to fly but I can't fly away/ I can't fly away
I hear my heart begin to fade/
My eyes begin to bleed
I'd leave it all behind for you
Isn't it cruel to love someone and let them go and let them down
Isn't it cruel to love someone and let them down
Cause I float like a cloud
Drown like the sea
Watching stars fall
Cause I move like a cloud and sink like the sea
And I sink like the clouds
Drown the like the sea
And everyone's in safety
Sink like the clouds
Float like the sea
My hands are empty like me
I lie awake
Trying to find the innocence when I was young
My voice aches
I feel so low
I wake up from this nightmare
So I can see the sun shine on me
I walked out of my mind and here I am losing all my faith
No one is looking for me
So why am I still here
So why am I still here
So why am I still here
Tell me why
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22. |
Forget Your Name
03:49
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I'll forget your name but you won't forget mine
I hope it stings like hell and it cuts deep so you understand my pain
You threw dirt in my face
Trying to erase the fear out in your broken place
But you'll remember me and I'll never be here again
I'll never say sorry because I don't think I did anything wrong
I'm intense as hell but you're delusional to think you could just string me along
I'll forget your name but you won't forget mine
I hope it stings like hell and it cuts deep so you understand my pain
You're in love with the reflection of yourself in my eyes
I've hung myself so many times before that I don't fear the come down
And you're so shallow
So let me go
I wanna leave
I wanna pray
I wanna be
Only me
I'll never say sorry because I don't think I did anything wrong
I'm intense as hell but you're delusional to think you could just string me along
You wanna live forever
But I wanna die today
There's no hope for me here
I cut my skin and prepare my grave
So goodnight and goodbye
"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.”
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Avery Indigo Los Angeles, California
Avery Indigo is from the brain of Lead Vocalist and rhythm guitarist Wayne X. The story of Avery Indigo involves a stripper and a book about abuse and power. Avery Indigo first formed in 2014 and has gone through many reiterations. Wayne X was a kid banned from church, kicked out from high school, and abandoned by family. He took it upon himself to go to college as a homeless youth. ... more
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